We are all a product of our environment and our genes. But how much does the self influence who you become? If we have any say in our destiny, then surely it plays a major part? The dual nature of our realities means that we simultaneously:
🧘♀️ - Use intention to choose the things we do (and create the narrative of our journey)
🤷♀️ - Have no control of the choices presented to us (and thus live as if we were a leaf being blown around in a storm)
Internal vs external control
The nature of our mindsets and habitual responses influence who we are and how we show up.
It is commonly understood that two individuals experiencing the same set of circumstances make different choices. So we can control our days and our perception.
Two things that make me thoughtful are :
The macro network effects that determine the path of our lives
The micro daily habits and the things in our environment that determine the nature of our days
However, which are the important choices that lead to different circumstances? What are the things that really impact the path of our lives and what can we do about them?
This post will cover macro network effects and next post will be our daily habits.
1 - Macro network effects
Although we make many decisions everyday, there are very few that really influence our lives. These decisions lead to the development of the majority of your network (the people you know) and what you do with yourself.
Why is your network important?
There have been many studies on group behaviour and how much we strive to fit in. It really is true that you are the average of those you spend the most time with.
The people you spend time with influence your aspirations, health, wealth and opportunities.
Aspirations - Your aspirations are greatly affected by those around you.
In a school where social status matches academic achievement you will naturally strive for greater achievement.
In a school where students are sporty or the social pressure is to get into gangs and ignore teachers, the aspirations are radically different.
Health - You are the product of those you live with
Studies on group health behaviour have shown
If your friends are all posting workouts on Instagram, you are more likely to hit the gym.
Obesity is more likely to occur if you have obese friends
The members of our squad have a much bigger influence than any adverts or motivational messages.
Wealth - It doesn’t grow on trees, but it does spread through people
Money is one thing but so is knowledge.
Seeing people choose a path that creates wealth makes it obvious that we can do the same and gives us a roadmap to do it ourselves.
When all the people around you are stuck in a rut it can feel like your destiny.
Also the potential opportunities for an inside connection to a great job, a potential investor in your business idea etc.. is invaluable.
Opportunities - Those around you greatly affect the potential opportunities available to you:
Students that study in North East are likely to end up in a corporate job in New York or Boston
Students that study in California are likely to end up working in startups
Your network controls your network
Your network not only influences your outcomes. Your network also dictates who you become friends with:
Imagine you take a train journey
You meet someone you get along with really well
You are 10 out of 10 friend match But you have no friends in common
You have no reason to meet up
You don't become long term friends.
You meet someone who is OKAY:
6 out of 10 friend match And they live with friends of yours and study on your course.
You see them most weeks for the next few years
You become part of each other's lives and you become good friends.
Yes, social media exists to connect people online. But how many friends have we added with good intentions and never kept in touch? You simply don't remain friends with people that you don't share experiences with.
When you never have a reason to do something with someone you don't build a relationship.
There a 6 main 'crossroad moments' in your life that really influence who ends up in your network:
- Family born into
- Where you go to high school
- Where you go to college
- Your first job
- Life partner
- Where you live
These are the key moments in your life that radically control what circumstances you will have available to you for the rest of your life.
We don’t have that much control in them either. Each one leads into the next and we really need to do anything we can to give ourselves more control at each crossroad.
What does this have to do with Syncify?
Relationships rely on experiences. Social media doesn’t give us shared experiences.
If you want to maintain a relationship remotely then House party, clubhouse and Zoom etc.. are awkward to fit into our lives. We all need to plan to be available at the same time and find a reason to actually be hanging out.
Syncify is designed to oppose these problems.
Maintain a network
We should be able to intuitively spend time with people we want to spend time with doing things we enjoy.
Syncify instead uses the things you are already doing. And it makes it a shared experience.
You can read the same books and listen to the same podcasts at your convenience. You have the opportunity to connect over it and learn from each other.
Your remote network becomes more maintainable with less effort to intuitively spend time and pay attention to each other by just doing things you enjoy with people you enjoy.