Rhoda Mills Sommer presents
What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't
Relationships matter. Do you want to know the nitty gritty of what makes a relationship work? Get your answers to relationship questions. Learn how to keep respect alive & well, because lack of respect is why people get divorced. Learn what builds trust & how to recover from infidelity, drama or codependency. Advice from psychotherapist Rhoda Sommer based on over 35 years of working with couples. www.therapyideas.net
January 4, 2021
Relationships thrive when the 4 pillars of successful relationships are nurtured. The 4 pillars are Honesty, Respect, Generosity & Negotiating. Relationships are one of the most important parts of life & there are no classes in high school to help you learn how. Make no mistake about it, relationships are a lot of work because everybody is wired differently.
December 2, 2020
AVOIDING THE SELF-SACRIFICE TRAP IN RELATIONSHIPS
Self-sacrifice has been misinterpreted by too many, as the way to be the "best" partner you can be. For this episode I have Alicia Munoz joining me to discuss how you can use your own experience of pleasure and joy as a compass to guide you to being more fulfilled as a person, and therefore, a "better" partner. Consider the stewardess on the plane advising parents to put their own mask on first in the event of a plane crash, it's the same idea.
November 2, 2020
Emotionally Unavailable Men/People In Relationships
Emotionally unavailable men are something many partners experience. I think the greatest pain about this problem is that it leaves both people in a relationship feeling even lonelier. Today’s episode is to help us understand this dynamic & move towards solutions instead of giving up. Relationships can survive difficulties when there is a more balanced understanding instead of blame. Certainly women can also be emotionally unavailable.
October 5, 2020
Self Confrontation Will Improve ALL Your Relationships
Self-confrontation is a rare commodity in human beings. It’s really hard to look honestly at yourself. Digesting hard truths about yourself is no easy task. We are all so good at telling ourselves it’s ok when it’s not. We justify why we did something, we make it ok, we make excuses for ourselves. Facing a harsh truth about yourself, makes you feel bad & that’s the point, the discomfort helps you to decide “I’m not doing that again."
September 2, 2020
What Gay Couples Have To Teach Us About Monogamy & Open Relationships
Gay couples have insights to offer all couples. Interview with Michael Dale Kimmel author of The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage. He offers important ideas like what is the intention of your marriage? to have fun, share great sex, deepen an emotional connection or to stay together for life? He also invites you to consider emotional monogamy if you are in an open relationship.
August 3, 2020
Manipulators & Being Manipulated In Relationships
When you've been in a relationship with a disturbed manipulative person, regardless of where they are on the spectrum, you get into a real habit of looking outward far too much. All of your attention and energy is focused on what are they going to do next? How are they going to react if I say, or do this? You train yourself to look outside of yourself where you have no power or control. You have to learn how to build security within & invest in yourself instead.
July 6, 2020
Divorce Prevention 101
Divorce is letting the obstacles pile up to create a grand canyon of distance. Nobody lives in a paradise of love & agreement. If they do it’s still the beginnings or it’s a false reality where one person is swallowing too much or withholding who they really are. Loving enjoyment of each other combined with disagreement or conflict are both natural, ordinary patterns of being together.
June 2, 2020
Attachment Theory & Relationships
Attachment theory is important because it's going to help you to understand your own relationships. Information is power and recognizing yourself in one of these attachment styles could really improve your future. If your parenting was unpredictable in childhood you might develop into an anxious attacher. If you were ignored early in life you become an avoider because they learned they have to depend on themselves. Interview with Annie Chen.
May 6, 2020
Codependency, Let's Think About It As Self Love Deficiency
Ross Rosenberg is important because he gave us a new way to think about codependency as self love deficient. He also explains why so many codependent people are addicted to being with the wrong partner, are afraid to be alone & often hook up with narcissists. He offers observe/ don't absorb as a technique to change & grow.
April 7, 2020
Quarantine Life & Solving Relationship Struggles
When you are trapped together it can be easy to get stuck in obsessing about all the negatives that annoy you. Our brains love to hang onto negativity. Sometimes people miss that heady excitement of being in love which is different from actually living with love. Living with love means the work of acceptance. Acceptance of the annoyances because you are well aware of how annoying you are as well.